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(updated 5 Aug 03)
Contortionist

Mario again puts his son's newest fiance thru the normal hoops test. (RWich928@aol.com)
Sandra learned too late that she should never, EVER, ask "What's a woman gotta do to get a drink around here?" (medic_92@yahoo.com)
The Runners Up:
The congressman's luck with his cheap date just kept on getting better! (bonzo7@yahoo.com)
Would you like some more chamPAIN? (kaycorbett@hotmail.com)
I can't wait to see what she does after a SECOND glass of champagne. (jaynashvil@aol.com; bonzo7@yahoo.com)
When Anne drinks it goes straight to her head!!! (marcwwolf@aol.com)
"Son, I had my doubts at first, but you were right. She's a keeper!" (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)
"I like my champagne with a twist." (murdoctor@aol.com)
Cindy would go to any lengths to be the center of attention. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)
When her host ended his toast with "Bottoms Up!" Delores took him literally. (Ripster40@yahoo.com)
Rita proudly displays the hollow extra leg that that enables her to drink men under, over and around the table. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
"As I said, Marie...This champagne does wonders to loosen up the joints!" (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
Even after her drunk driving accident, Joyce still would not give it up. (rpearson@umr.edu)
If I were the guys in this situation, I'm not sure that having a drink would be my first priority. (skibip@aol.com)
Raul realized only too late that champagne gave Claire gas. (wardeenio@yahoo.com)
Hmm..and Mother thought having your ELBOWS on the table was bad. (gabriel_riley@yahoo.ca)
If you think this is crazy, wait till she corks up the bottle! (Ness14701@aol.com)
"Would you like some pretzels with that? Oh, wait... nevermind." (antimony927@yahoo.com)
Although it was a great party trick, Bill was always embarrassed when Donna's third leg kept kicking the guests. (lhill@maguiregroup.com)
The cheap champagne bottle said "TWIST TO OPEN" and three-legged Della took it literally. (asim_lies@hotmail.com)
Joey and Ralf often have too much to drink, but tonight Sally was really looped. (icediver@ec.rr.com)
Bend It Like Beckham! (lrickets@yahoo.com)