Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 29 Nov 10)
Really Bad Dumb Guy Ways to Fix the Oil Leak
And because I say so...everyone here gets triple Rat's Asses points.
Soak it up with a few Sham-Wows. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Go back in time and stop the ship from crashing. (email@example.com) Ummmm...you don't watch the news much, do you?
Build a big beer tap... (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Two words..."Giant Tampon" (Truckerex@comcast.net; Jdoveraz@aol.com)
Plug it up with cut eggplant. Every time I fry it, it soaks up all my oil. Should work fine. (Steveandmoki@yahoo.com) Yeah...but where are they gonna find a frying pan that big? Think about that for a minute, Mr. Smarty-pants.
Step One: Have your wife bring you a cold beer. (email@example.com)
Force a little Dutch boy to stick his finger in the hole. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)
Well, chewing gum always fixed that leak in my gas tank... (firstname.lastname@example.org) Combine this with the duct tape, and you got yourself a plan.
Ya put sugar in the gas tank, then the oil leak ain't nothin. (email@example.com)
"What, you can't cut the power from the breaker?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Try duct tape...it works for everything else. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; DOrr221@comcast.net) Just make sure it's red...government clean-ups always go well with lots and lots of red tape!
Carpet the floor of the Gulf of Mexico with a detailed copy of the National Debt. (email@example.com)
If they put a large screen TV there, and we could watch the Super Bowl or something like that, I guess our butts could block the leak. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Add vinegar and make the world's largest seaweed salad. (GerriHan65@aol.com)
Drill another hole to let the oil go back in? (email@example.com) Sounds like a plan to me.
Redraw international boundaries so it's in Venezuela, then threaten and invade. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Run a pipe to my idling '78 Pontiac Catalina, shouldn't be too much left over. (email@example.com)
An "idea man" at his finest. Hey, you wouldn't be from New York or Jersey by any chance, would ya?
"I thought they fixed that already? What? You want I should break it again?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
See, this is a Really Bad Sign That We Need To Update More Often...
"Uh? There's an oil leak?" (email@example.com)
The New Category:
Really Bad Excuses HMO Came Up With For Not Updating Anything Since July 2010
Please type the email address you would like credit to be given to in parenthesis after your entry...for example: My entry blah blah. (John@Doe.com)
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