First off, I know, I know...this is the longest time between updates...you don't have to rub it in...
Got new job. After 25 years doing new shows daily - took a job where he only does something new every 25 years - updating HMO contests. (TZMAC@aol.com)
And then there's the obvious ones...
He died two years ago. (Ankle_jay@comcast.net)
He's been dead for years. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He died years ago, and they are running out of look-a-likes. (email@example.com)
He's still alive? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
And even tho it probably doesn't make that much sense to update, but you guys did send in these entries and all...and deserve some recognition. Better late than never, right?? Right???...
10. Walmart's offering pretty good dough for celebrity greeters. (email@example.com)
9. Doesn't want to get type cast as an obnoxious, dehydrated eighty-year-old. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
8. He wanted to leave before the story broke that his suspenders were really to hold up his industrial absorbent Depends. (DOrr221@comcast.net)
7. Jay Leno wants it. (email@example.com)
6. There ain't enough make-up artists in the world to cover up them liver spots. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
5. His wife got it in the divorce. (email@example.com)
4. Like 98% of the American television viewing audience, he's finally gotten bored with it. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
3. Craig Ferguson does a better him than he does. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
2. He's outlived his uselessness. (email@example.com)
Hey, Larry, I have one word for you: radio...
1. He wanted to leave while he still had his "looks". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The New Category
Top Ten Signs Facebook May Be Floundering
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